This trip to Vietnam has been nothing but a real, and serious slap on my face. Everytime I travel for my mission trips out of Singapore, I awaken to new insights about myself and the World. This is no exception.

Having confined myself to the safe and protected bubble of this Singapore society, I have lost touch with realities of the World. While videos and images are at times close to real, and disturbing, nothing comes close to being face to face and thrown into the deep ends of this gigantic World.

I realize the minuteness of myself, despite constant denial by the ego, and I came to understand that this universe is so vast I'm like an atom in the grain of sand wanting to change the world. What concrete impact, or change, can I alone inflict in this timeless cosmic plane, where we humans are but just an onlooker?

This is nowhere a statement of resignation. Rather, it's a reflection that attachment to fame, name, fortune, wealth, power or recognition bears no weight at all. What remains timeless is the resolution to live deliberately, to focus on the journey instead of the end, and to constantly be in criticism of myself in order to love all. What a liberation, and what an exciting journey ahead.

Through the last 5 days, I have had real intense experiences. It's almost like a final test that life is giving me for this year, having grown so much over the last 12 months.

The trip brought me into real close contact with my father, and a constant battle of being aware that he's looking, and doing the things which I wanted to do. It's a trip which I believe has brought us closer, and I for the longest time saw him smiling, dancing, and playing with the kids.

The greatest one of all would be receiving a statement of 'I love you' from my brother. It so reaffirms who I am to him, and who he has been for me.

And sorry guys, I got my exam results yesterday and it is far from satisfactory. I only got 3.5, which is a B grade. I must get my 4.5 next semester in order to pull the overall grade up to 4.0. It has been a big slap on my face, and a test of my mettle, of how I handle this and how I would make a comeback. I'm sure I will.

That's all for now. Lastly, I want to really appreciate the both of you for being such an integral part of my life, giving me your authentic words which only serves to lift and raise me up. I don't know what I did to deserve to have such friends in my life, because you really are a step above most people. Thank you Thank you Thank you.

From the bottom of my heart, you are my hero!

CL