Pathway Source

Actually it's day 4...

The prelude is over and i can feel the energy from you guys. Chang Liang, your awesome, the sms's are powerful and compelling. Your devotion and attitude to what is important and a priority is astounding. You have given us a pillar of trust and set a bar for me, myself to my own studies.

Kelveen - your dedication to loving and cherish the body u have is awe-inspiring. Dammit if you can do it, i too also have the strength and stamina to fight this addiction. I have lost count but i just finish my only pack this week. Today is smoke free and i will honour it. But dude, it's way difficult for me, cause the addiction is so chemically induce, it affects my mood, my body and my spirit.



Haha the irony, why i started in the first place humors me. "I started smoking to explore addiction" I kinda forgot the point... I remember now. Me and my philosophical quest is actually killing me.

The last two days or so have been nothing more than sluggish. My spirit's reaction to a disciplined change of lifestyle. I didn't do much and the two days whizzed by like it never happened. All i can remember is the fight with my addiction. Pathway is no joke, and it's only began.

Today/Wednesday, however has been amazing. I woke up with a fervor to achieve my work, my coaching and my studies. All of which i have done with much aplomb. But in regards to being an activist, my my - i have so much to learn, to do and to become.

I was thinking of volunteering for a www.lakeside.org.sg as a social worker counseling teens and youth. It's a start, i don't know if they will even let me, but we'll see. It's my foray into being pro-active and also working on my social work skill sets and knowledge. How any suggestions?

My Walk of Activism
On the way home, on a nice long bus ride, my mind started to wonder and ponder, armed with the earphones blasting activist music, i sudden became aware of my inner-voice. It spoke with tremendous strength, resonance and truth; my tears welled up, the all too familiar lump stuck at my throat, a sudden realization knocked the wind out of my sails.

I have not lived the life, i have always dreamed. I have always longed to be in the freedom marches, hold rallies, protest against establishments, sing with groups of people songs of overcoming adversity, give up my citizenship, boycotting the army, building schools with my two hands, digging roads without a shirt, giving medical aid to children, playing football at orphanages, growing my own food, feeding the starving, crying over the fallen brothers who have given up everything to make this world better, to have people see the truth, to live with all my soul, my spirit and only need the shirt on my back to be comfortable, lastly but not least of all, to write my book and be in service to humanity the best way i can connect.

My research has slowly led me to the sorrow of our past, of the injustice and the history is long my brothers. The pain the human race has inflicted and felt brings me to my knees. The real tragedy is really not about those who suffered or who cause the pain, but the many who did nothing.

So you see guys, this journey this walk is really not for us, but for all our brothers and sisters, our brethren, our families, our children, our parents and all of Gaia. It begins with a step, and than another.

One day at a time.
Starting with this one

( I leave you with a song )
Protest Song
~ Anti-Flag
*working on placing a Music Playlist on the blog*

“As we become purer channels for God's light, we develop an appetite for the sweetness that is possible in this world. A miracle worker is not geared toward fighting the world that is, but toward creating the world that could be.”

~ Marianne Williamson

My day 10.

Few wonderful successes, few constant struggle.

Mastery of the mind,

You would think its rather about knowledge, but rather about holding and maintaining my consiousness and conversations in my head. Ive had 3 sticks of cigarretes for the last two days. (All three today of course). So, i was comtemplating i should have one more stick before head off to my routine stopover at macdonalds. About 10 mins ago, before i had that conversation, i had told myself that since i dont have the craving, i shall not touch one untill friday (when my withdrawals may kick in). Clearly i forgotten about that conversation!!. And it was not a craving...it was a what i would call it, a retreat of a worse kind. It just lacked characther of myself. A battle between me and my mind. So anyway, as a form of motivation to get out of this trap i have in my head, i decided to run....(jog)

Mastery of the body,

My muscles are tight...not fit tight...tired..its need to reenergise. I need to stretch my body, it has to rest.... My ass is bloody compressed, my groin feels like its recovering from a year of pinching, and my neck is...well, i feel like it isnt a neck anymore. I cant move to the right.

So i ran...i had a jog, and what do you know, i almost had a hamstring pull...hahah. I think ive pushed to a limit, and its time i should listen to my body. This has been a week of struggle of the body and mind. ....

I appreciate you guys for the messages you sent to me. Thank you, they were truly inspiring.


Dennet: go to this link - http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/vm7.htm

And sign up, read up on the several diets for you plans.


Chan Liang, - I trust you to somehow keep on going. :D

Love you all

Awesome tremoundous energy...i fear...im runnning on excess backup..and ill end up tired and jaded. But it doesnt feel that way at all. I woke up this morning, all tired and lethargic, and i heard a scream, a very very loud scream, and i shot off from my couch.

That was 6 in the morning. I ended up at macdonalds at 7, and was already working. Working!!! hahahah. This was something new. I was more consious about my surroundings, wasted no resources, lest to the things i was consious off.Ive managed to gather my materials, for my leadership and education studies. Im looking forward to leave work and read on it immediately.

And then to my strengthening exercise, i neeed to accomplish 4 more chin ups to get a gold standard. More work to commence.Universal feedback today, my words cannot be trusted. hmmm...i realised i have made alot of broken promises. Something to work on. Say it, and stick to it.

But now, i am humbled. for being honest enough to look at it today..

Love