Pathway Source

Received a phone call from an old auntie today. I picked up the phone, wished her happy new year, and she said not happy, and hung up. I called her back, talked to her, and she told me that old uncle had just left her. At that moment, I didn't know what to say.

I met this pair of couple 1.5 years ago at Kopitiam Plaza Singapura. They were having their lunch, I talked to them, and managed to get their address. I bought a kopitiam card worth $25, and mailed it to them. We became friends since, and they always invited me to their house for a meal, as a token of appreciation. Few months back, auntie and uncle went to nuskin for a antioxidant scan, and I served them by giving lifepak for auntie to take. Her score went up after 2 months. In all, I met them less than 10 times, but just now auntie bothered to call me and tell me about it. I'm touched, yet feel the deep grieve and pain that auntie is going through. Losing your lifelong partner just when you needed him the most is not an easy thing to bear.

Looking at the people around me, I know that they won't be there forever, neither will I. A deep resolve to make life easier for the person next to me, to be in service, and to honour the life and person right in front of me surfaces. I don't know how long I'll live, how long other people will, all that I care is at this moment, we connect as human beings.

Uncle and auntie, I honour your love for each other, your care for me, and I will never forget the dinner you all prepared for me at your house. Farewell.

The meeting today solidified some of my doubts and gave a context with which we can operate.

Who doesn't have problems? However, the difference between a true master (or an activist) and an ordinary folk is that the master has a stand, and he lives it. Everyday, every minute, every moment. "I" no longer come across consequential. How I serve matters. Studies, work, relationship issues and all have been bugging, and grips on like a mimosa. But of what significance are they in the bigger communal or societal realm, much less mention the cosmic realm. Yet, I devote so much energy, worry, concern about handling these problems, and getting them out of the way, not knowing that I'm actually standing in the midst of a mimosa plain. So, walk to the edge, and get out of the field.

An activist lives from a stand, and is unwavering about it. And i really mean immovable. Rock static. It is then that these problems no longer present themselves as problems, but a passing phase carried sooner or later away by the wind. I stand for love, for equality, and for greatness in people. So guys, let's just make a decision to cut the wimpy bullshit away from our lives, and dedicate to living deliberately.

Truly pathway,
Chang Liang

This trip to Vietnam has been nothing but a real, and serious slap on my face. Everytime I travel for my mission trips out of Singapore, I awaken to new insights about myself and the World. This is no exception.

Having confined myself to the safe and protected bubble of this Singapore society, I have lost touch with realities of the World. While videos and images are at times close to real, and disturbing, nothing comes close to being face to face and thrown into the deep ends of this gigantic World.

I realize the minuteness of myself, despite constant denial by the ego, and I came to understand that this universe is so vast I'm like an atom in the grain of sand wanting to change the world. What concrete impact, or change, can I alone inflict in this timeless cosmic plane, where we humans are but just an onlooker?

This is nowhere a statement of resignation. Rather, it's a reflection that attachment to fame, name, fortune, wealth, power or recognition bears no weight at all. What remains timeless is the resolution to live deliberately, to focus on the journey instead of the end, and to constantly be in criticism of myself in order to love all. What a liberation, and what an exciting journey ahead.

Through the last 5 days, I have had real intense experiences. It's almost like a final test that life is giving me for this year, having grown so much over the last 12 months.

The trip brought me into real close contact with my father, and a constant battle of being aware that he's looking, and doing the things which I wanted to do. It's a trip which I believe has brought us closer, and I for the longest time saw him smiling, dancing, and playing with the kids.

The greatest one of all would be receiving a statement of 'I love you' from my brother. It so reaffirms who I am to him, and who he has been for me.

And sorry guys, I got my exam results yesterday and it is far from satisfactory. I only got 3.5, which is a B grade. I must get my 4.5 next semester in order to pull the overall grade up to 4.0. It has been a big slap on my face, and a test of my mettle, of how I handle this and how I would make a comeback. I'm sure I will.

That's all for now. Lastly, I want to really appreciate the both of you for being such an integral part of my life, giving me your authentic words which only serves to lift and raise me up. I don't know what I did to deserve to have such friends in my life, because you really are a step above most people. Thank you Thank you Thank you.

From the bottom of my heart, you are my hero!

CL

I don't know where to begin, what to say, what to think, and so I'm writing whatever comes up at the moment.

This journey has really been different, far different from the past 20 years of my life. I cannot find words to articulate it, but I know it's different. Maybe because it's an awakening, it's new, it's radical that the ego has not caught up yet. Living simply. Understanding and knowledge. Self expression. (and the other 2 that slipped my mind)

Life is becoming so real. No longer a fairy land, no longer just about my studies, my friends, my career, No longer about concepts and theories. I am alive, and walking the peaks and valleys of life, moving through the rhythm of this cosmic plane. I am so alive, that I enjoy my fears, and I enjoy my pain. I am so alive that I think not of being right, but of being in honour and contribution. I am so alive that I know I'm in a journey, and I'm patient with in. I am so alive that if I die this moment, so be it.

If I may even attempt to explain what's going on, it's because I'm standing beside giants. I'm walking alongside people who have seen the light, and are breaking free from the jail that our society has put us in, and who has decided the only way to live is - deliberately.

Fear gripped. But I've come to a point where I worry not of what happens in the future, .





I don't know. I really know nothing about this world at all.

Thanks dennet and Kelveen again for such an amazing morning, deep, intellectual, supportive, and powerful. We Still forgot our TAPPING!

It was a different experience starting off my day so early, and having so much time on my hand to accomplish more. I got to really set it as a declaration to do some study everyday, I feel so shallow and ashamed to claim that I'm going to be an activist, when I'm not doing my study. From Karate Kid 2, "Ambition without knowledge, is like driving a boat on dry land. "So I must study at least something new everyday.

Somehow or other, I turned on the tv at 7pm and it was showing the movie 'pay it forward'. It is truly an inspiration. I somehow always get these kinda movies during December period, and it gets me grounded and aware that making a difference doesn't take herculean efforts, it takes true love and selfless care for the other. All it takes is probably just one idea to change to world. I'm sure the seeds of pathway will grow exponentially after some time, and we'll look back at this journey as the highlights of our lives.

Pathway source.. HO!

CL

Street execution of a Viet Cong prisoner, Saigon, 1968

I'm absolutely loving this journey guys. It truly focuses the best out of me, and expresses it. The rigour, discipline, and constant growth is rejuvenating. It's 1.20am in the morning and I just want to do some more research.

Kelv thanks for that post, and I surely understand what you're saying. It's profound, and it's enlightening. Question that I ask myself again and again, Am I here to change anything? or Am I here to simply live, deliberately. Thank you for that insight.

With each passing day, I am more and more grateful and appreciative of every single moment and event that I encounter. I feel like things are really working in my way, and I am so excited to step up and play bigger all the time. I'm growing with patience. The research is indeed a critical part of this pathway. It has opened our eyes to the world, and soon it will open our hearts and minds.

One thing which I notice is this seemed to be rather loose. We do not have a mirror to look at. On a daily basis, we are pretty much on our own, and though it develops personal rigour and discipline, I think it can be tighten up in some ways. Just my thoughts, haven't come up with a solution yet. Let's share.

To all children and the world,
CL

1st December.

The facts are becoming real. My heart aches. I was sitting down at starbucks this afternoon, watched the video on 'better people' and 'rape of the world'. I can't help but started tearing. Why are people killing one another, why is life not respected at all?

Where is the love?

What can i do? Will I just be another number? Where do I go? Can there really be change? I don't know. All I know is that it hurts, and I know that life doesn't have to be this way.

I am clear now, much than before, that Vitameal and nourish the children is what I desire to commit myself into. This is my promise, to all starving and malnourished children who are dying every 6 seconds, to you guys, and to myself.

A child's life ends every six seconds.

How can the world allow this to happen? How did we end up like this? What are we doing to ourselves?

It is a figure that has turned real. To the world, to all children, you have my word. And that is all that I have - my word, my honour.

My promise for this week is 100 bags - that's 100 children saved. The branch will be 10 bags. And the trunk will be 5 bags.

My promise for activist study is to research and collate the root cause and figures of world hunger. The branch will be to get hold of all the data. The trunk will be to at least articulate verbally what are the key points.

Guys, post your promises. Let's have this week be real work and productive.

With a heart that so desires,
a passion so flaming,
a drive unstoppable,
I have time and again overlooked what is now.
Expecting the finest, and best,
yet forgetting I am not perfect.
Or maybe I am.

That pretty much sums up my day, and journey so far. There are so many things I tell myself I yet to have, constantly expecting more and more, but I have long forgotten to stop and look at who I have become. I'm truly grateful for all that I am now. Being on this path brings me to greater realization of many things, which I wonder why only now? And Emerson's quote was such apt, it brings me to realise that life's more of a journey than a script. It's been a long time since I felt so alive. Thank you guys.

ps. Really I'm enjoying my studies now, stretching some muscles that have been rested for very long time.

It's 2.22am in the morning. Just came back from my walk. It's drizzling out there, and a little windy.

All of a sudden, I had this sensation that I don't know this place at all. I don't know nature, I don't know nothing. It seemed like I was in foreign land.

I happened to chance by a solid movie during my study break time, "I dream about Africa, a true story", about a lady who gave her life dedicating to protecting animals in Africa from being poached. It intrigues me, as I witness the life that an activist lives. Tough, challenging, full of uncertainty, danger, but yet fulfilled. She lived on a heighten state every single moment, for nature lives no mercy, and takes away her loved ones.

Alone sometimes, yet free. Lonely, yet with nature as her playing field.

I began to wonder..

A life of luxury, prosperity, abundance, wealth,

or

a life of ruggedness, simplicity, hardship, but making my voice heard.

or both?

Thanks Dennet and Kelveen for walking along me, I saw further as I stood on your shoulders.

By the way, Dennet, Journal your experiences lah, We want to know what's going on with you too.

Love,
CL

Was appreciated by Jared first thing in the morning when I woke up. It was a journey well walked, didn't felt like I did a lot, but looking at the result, I'm grateful.

Then I got to really start looking at what's with my resistance towards relationship, my beliefs behind it. Perhaps one thing that really was in the way was just myself. Me refusing to let go of control, and just experience what I truly desire.

Have been bucking up with my studies, momentum's picking up but I still think it's slow. And time's getting shorter. So, real serious dedication required down here. Like no joke.

To activism!
CL

Folks,

I stayed up all the way till now 2.42am to prepare for my exams tomorrow. Never ever stayed up so late to study before, felt really good that I held on to my word and never gave up. Will be going for my walk in a moment's time just before going to bed. I showed appreciation to thao today, by being there for me yesterday when things were getting a little stressed up. I'm excited embarking on this journey. I'm gonna hold the bar high for you guys.

Chang Liang